The following short story first appeared here in Full of Crow.
The man awoke to the chirping of a bird. He lay listening in his bed for some time before rising, stretching, and gaining the window. He looked outside. The sun had risen; off-white clouds unrolled like scrolls across the horizon; wet grass and tall pines punctuated the land below. Sometimes the man looked out and read the words of the world; sometimes he looked out and read nothing because the world seemed unwritten. “Not for nothing,” he said to himself. “Not for nothing.”
Sometimes he would see her standing in the yard, working in the garden, pretty as a sunflower. Sometimes he forgot her. She was never there in any case.
The woman was, in her youth, symmetric and vaguely beautiful, like a poem: full of marks and scribbles working in concert, taking on meaning. In recent years she had become, despite herself, an aging monument to womanhood whose rough topography of face showed traces, however faint, of vigor. She had been gone five years, but he thought about her, and about her cool, liquid eyes, on many mornings, especially on the cool mornings when the steady, westward breezes tussled his hair and smelled, to him, like memory; the pain of her leaving was stronger in the mornings than in the afternoons or nights. The earth, the soil, the animals: all were alive, shamelessly, recklessly, gloriously alive then. The stirring of birds and squirrels and the retreat of nighttime critters—raccoons, owls, opossums—inscribed the world with syllables and notes, sang the world to the world, perhaps even to the universe. Something happened in the mornings, something tremendous: the soul, his soul, like leaking ink, bled into the world, stained the world, and he, the man, became an artist, and joined the growing chorus of life.
But the man was not happy. He no longer understood happiness because he could not read it.
This morning was different. He wondered whether it was the music, the tune, the tone. Standing before the window, he closed his eyes and listened to the world and turned his head toward the source of the sounds and then opened his eyes.
There it was.
A redbird.
He stared at the redbird, a stranger to him. He knew the daily visitors to his feeders and birdbaths, knew them as one knows the contours of his hand: mostly bluebirds and robins, but occasionally finches and sparrows. The redbird, though, was new; its music moved him, drew him out of himself.
The redbird perched on a limb on the old maple tree and turned its beak to the sky, its crimson crest and round black mask both brilliant and threatening. Its little button-eyes were barely visible beneath the mask, but the man thought he saw the redbird looking back at him. He smiled and waved. The redbird bobbed in acknowledgment and then flew off.
The man grew sad.
He gazed as far as he could into the distance: at the brooks and streams meandering down the mountain and terminating into the various fishponds that dimpled the Okmulgee valley. He could just make out the images of trees covering the foothills; yet when he had stood here as a boy, he could see everything, even the neighboring village, south of the mountain. How strange, he thought, that the body grows old.
The man placed his hand before his face and wiggled his wrinkled fingers. He smiled knowing that he controlled these appendages even if they weren’t strong or nimble, even if they wouldn’t touch the woman again. Then he frowned because the fingers, crusty and bent, seemed separate from him—as if they belonged to a force even greater: God maybe.
It was Monday. The boy would come today.
He was kind, this boy: a hard worker. He showed up on time every Monday and Wednesday to till the land, chop the wood, feed the cows, water the plants. He had been at this routine for two years.
When the boy came, the man was happy. Read the rest of this entry »